So it's been a while since I've last blogged but I have some good excuses. As it turns out, getting married and moving to a foreign country is a very time consuming process. I have stuff to say about the wedding and honeymoon but I want to be really thoughtful and take my time reflecting on all that jazz. In an effort to continue writing and to move forward I'm going to save the wedding and honeymoon stuff for later.
I believe in signs, not like bad Mel Gibson movie alien signs but like life trying to help direct me kind of signs. I'm not really religious but I am spiritual and I do believe in something. I just don't know how to describe what I believe and I don't feel that what I believe fits in any one religious institution. This is not an invitation for people to try to convert me. Sometimes my signs are spiritual and sometimes they make no sense at all. Sometimes the signs are there because I'm really trying to find them too. Anyway, I'm writing about signs because the last few weeks I've had a ton of them. But in particular, I have had some signs about the move and it being the right decision. Here goes...
I live in the wilderness. Seriously, it's a dirt road off a dirt road kind of place. We get bear warnings over e-mail, no joke. I like the wilderness but my idea of enjoying the outdoors growing up was going to a camp site and plugging the pop-up camper in. I feel like I could live anywhere. I mean if I can survive living in a sorority house for a couple years of college, I can definitely live anywhere. I like where I live, it's really pretty-when you're not alone. I am so scared to go outside after sundown. There are so many animals out there that can be vicious, even the cute ones. The animals where I live have been giving me little signs that it's time to go.
About a week ago I saw two of the fox that live in my neighborhood. They're around all the time, there's a whole family of them. They are so cute. A long time ago I was scared of fox because I thought they were like wolves which are like bears which can eat you. But then I watched that "Grizzly Man" movie about the guy that lived with bears in Alaska and then got eaten. Yeah, that didn't help my perspective on the bears. BUT he had this whole little family of fox that used to mess with him and I realized they were like cats with fluffy tails. I love the cute little foxes in the neighborhood. Back to the sign, I went to pick Brian up at work, it's really late at night and I'm driving. The two fox are strolling down the side of the road like they were strutting their stuff. When I looked closer there was this cute bunny rabbit dangling from one of their mouths. EWE! I now have mixed feelings about the fox. That fox transformation from cute, fluffy tail, snuggly looking animal to vicious, bunny eating, carniverous animal tells me that the fox are trying to tell me...things here are not always as they seem.
Shortly after that, Brian and I were driving back home from somewhere and right on our road we saw a bear cub. It was adorable BUT where there is a cub, there is an angry, very large, lots of flesh ripping teeth mama bear close by. This was in the day time too. Everytime I go out to walk the dogs now any little branch snapping or ruffling in the woods must be a mama bear and the dogs and I have to hurry inside. The bears are telling me it's time to head out.
Recently, Brian and I have had a little bit of a mouse problem in the house. These fuckers are the smartest of all these crazy animals. I bought the most brutal of traps so that if there's more then one they will see their dead little friend and get out of my house! But these mice are like MacGyver mice. They don't just eat all the peanut butter off the trap, they lick it clean! The mice are making us put all chips, cereal, dog food...ANYTHING edible now goes in our refridgerator. They've eaten through two tupperware bins for the dog's food. They are crazy, crazy mice. I am not afraid to admit defeat and retreat to Abu Dhabi.
All these animal interactions are telling me it's time to move on. There's something comforting about the sounds of a city. I feel extra safe when I can hear the buses, the sirens, the extra loud neighbors.
A couple of sayings to ponder:
"Does a bear shit in the woods?" and
"If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
Out here, if a bear shits in the woods I'm sure no one hears it. Just as if I scream at the top of my lungs because a bear is mauling me, no one would hear it. But it happens just ask the Grizzly Man-oh wait, you can't.
